Disagreements are part of life and anyone can end up in the middle of a heated conflict no matter how polite or political or understanding one is.
It can really become ugly when people get personal and try to create a bad image of yourself in your mind. It can happen vice-versa too - expectations can lead you to feel bad for someone - when you decide that other has committed wrong to you by not doing things as you would have done for them - when you feel victim to others indifferent or callous behavior. There are high chances of you defending yourself either by breaking down or by behaving same as your opponent. Both are nothing but reactions. Only a person who has achieved the supreme state of calm mind can overcome the conflict of reaction vs patience, with patience. How to achieve this supreme state of mind? By following the path of awakening to self.
Like for me its through my hobbies - writing and painting. I used to be this highly reactive person when in my crude years. But with coming of age and devoting my time to these activities has improved me a lot, if not completely. It helps me to evolve as a person and connect more with the being to whom I belong instead of becoming someone who I am not. But how these two simple process help me achieve that?
After introspecting, I realize that during the time when I am engrossed in these activities completely just for the sake of enjoying and no particular reward in my mind, my mind is free of any unpleasant thought and memories. It works like cleaning a Mirror. Once it is cleaned of any dirt, a mirror is able to reflect as it is whatever stands before it. You are able to differentiate between the truer form from the falsely imposed form of yourself. You are able to connect yourself with universe and this leads to your heart being filled with compassion and forgiveness. Once you find that real being, that real soul, you no longer feel any need to argue with anyone about anything. You are able to see the truth beyond the evils - ego. There is nothing heavy left in your heart for anyone and so you feel light. You feel pity for your opponent who is possessed by vanity and you end up wishing truly- "Get well soon". You no longer expect anything from anyone and just focus on your deeds, your Karma. There is no urge to stay away or stay in touch as you are no longer bitter but only sweetness resides in your heart. It is like becoming a lotus that proudly blooms in the dirty pond.
|Img courtesy sentimentalcalligraphy.in|