Another new year, another chance!

Again its been a long time since I have blogged anything. A part of the reason behind this absence was deliberate and a part of this was because I was seeking a break to be completely immersed in my family life. My daughter, my parents, siblings. But I am back as ever.  Just with a sombre mood.

Every new year offer us something new, something pleasant worth remembering, something unpleasant worth forgetting. And every ending year offer us some resolves for the coming days. Resolves that we will do something and resolves that we won't do certain things. Like this, we add years on years to build our life. And irrespective of the promises accomplished or broken, we mature and understand life a little more, a little better.

Img Courtesy http://www.brooklynmeditation.org

Just like for the world hit by another frightfully terror attack on little souls, for me too, the year end has brought some unpleasant memories and certain hard resolves. And I am yet to see whether I am strong enough to respect those. Personally, I have set some high expectations and challenges with myself for the coming year and I hope that I will progress with my spirituality to know more about myself and unravel a little more of the hidden mystery behind my existence so that I remain unruffled with the happenings around me and can focus more on spreading happiness to the world. After all this should be our ultimate goal, for all of us mortals!!

I wish everyone a wonderful year ahead and I pray that the world have a peaceful year 2015. May love and peace blossoms.

My win over a trepidation

"Darr ke aage jeet hai - Success is beyond fear", though it’s a tagline for Mountain Dew but I can't agree with it more as I drove to office. Fear is fear. It is nothing big or small. We all have our own battles against our fears. I have won one such battle.

People complain about Bangalore traffic but it makes me happy sometimes when I am behind the wheel, waiting in the traffic. I drive occasionally so you might say that's why traffic doesn't bother me much but I tell you there is another reason for that.

For a long time I had an unusual phobia to ride a bicycle. While my friends and peers would ride bicycle to school, to city market, or just to play, I was struggling to make friends with gravity. To me man riding on two wheels was a far greater invention than the wheel itself. After many years of attempts I gave up. But one day my mother, on a pleasant summer evening persuaded me. And eureka! It was magic when while riding I turned back to see that my mom was no more holding my cycle. I was super confident. But then I realized that I was a grown up and my peers were already driving scooters. To my dismay I found learning scooter again was an impossible task to me. It was too heavy for lean me. I thought of giving up. But then what is life if we stop trying. What remains in life if 'to give up' becomes a habit. That's a shame!! So, after few years of trying, untrying and retrying, I bought a light-weight scooter. And I learned. But I learned something else too. That driving is not just a struggle to win over personal inhibitions but in India there is an additional challenge for girls - to ignore the mocking and staring eyes. Initially, the comments, the chases, the stares, and even attempts to hit me or touch me or make me fall scared me but then one of my experienced friends advised me that ‘ignoring is bliss’ while driving.

For a girl who struggled to ride a bicycle, I can now drive a car. But it became possible only after years of crusading against my fear and not giving up. I smile when they crack jokes about 'lady driving'. As, I understand that maybe my driving is not as perfect as a guy but I have earned it. There are lot more men too who are not able to overcome their fear for driving. So even if I drive badly, I have the courage to try irrespective of the judgmental eyes.

As the tussle with fears continues, I have discovered that trepidation for doing anything is just a crawling spider. The more one let it to crawl in the mind the more it entangles the mind in its web. So the best way out is to kill this spider with constant hammering of YES I CAN DO IT and this spider will turn out to be a myth. The feeling of winning over any fear is simply ecstatic. I have felt it and what about you?

The boy I met at the station

I am writing this post after a long gap as I am traveling. Though I have connectivity issues but this is important as I received a reminder for the last day for a noble initiative by Blogadda- One Blog post one smile.

Indian railways never appeals me esp. delhi railways stations. They are very crowded with people staring from every where. But what mostly saddens me is the economical disparity. The truth is if you want to see real India then don't go to airports, or shopping malls or the IT parks - visit the railway stations and there you will find the real picture.

As I was waiting for my train lost in these thoughts along with Pihu who was having some Lays chips much to my chagrin, a filthly dressed boy was roaming nearby. I noticed the boy and  wondered what purpose he has. Shabbily dressed he looked like a lost soul. Does he have any family? Is he a thief? Does he belong to some gang? He must be 11 or is he 13? What will he become when he will grow to be a man? A criminal? Will he survive that long?

Suddenly, Pihu threw her packet away in her playful manner breaking my thought process. I must tell you I am not prepared for handling these toddlers, they are volcano of energy ready to erupt every now and then. I was about to pick the packet and throw in bin keeping the resolve to do my bit in making my  bharat's ugly stations swachch. But then I thought against it and called that boy who has sat there by that time. I offered him those chips and he picked the pack and without thanking or saying anything ate the whole. I don't know whether I did him any favor or not but I could feel the difference of have and have not.

I run after Pihu so that she gets fed properly for which she gives me real hard time. So, I offer her different food items, buy her fancy stuffs because I can afford all that. Not that it is a sin to be well-to-do but poverty sickens me especially when it affects kids and looking at one makes me ashamed sometimes. I wish we could have a world of equality, where food is not a commodity but freely available resource. I am glad there are initiatives like 'Akshay Patra' that work for this goal. What a noble cause to feed a child while imparting education.

I am going to #BlogToFeedAChild with Akshaya Patra and BlogAdda.

PS: I have written this recent incident of my life for Blogadda and if a blog-post can feed a child then I am apologetic that I wrote only one at last moment. I wish to contribute more in future in helping the needy kids.