I remember when I sipped 'ek botal' Vodka for the first and unfortunately last time :), my reaction for the whole night was uncontrollable laughs!
I was all safe among my girl-friends in my room, and I was just splitting into hysterical laughs every now and then much to the chagrin of my roommate who had decided to remain sober. That made me wonder that my hidden desire is not about achieving any status in society or to become famous or to mint money, my inner desire is to be able to laugh a lot without getting conscious about myself, others, surroundings, anything. That I just want to be happy no matter what. That made my life pretty simple. I might had a rough start but I am able to have a fairly decent mileage in this journey of life. So what it is that makes me happy? I am today here to disclose those few but amazing things that has power to make anyone happy!
1. Own your decisions
The day when I realized that there is absolutely nobody to be blamed for my miseries but me myself, I ceased to feel miserable. When I quit my job, people told me you did a fine thing for your family, esp. your daughter. And my point was no, I did that for myself. My daughter is too young to dictate me to quit. It was my decision that I don't want to continue as I am struggling to manage a job, a kid, and a family. The result - a happy me. I am sure in future I am never gonna expect things from my daughter because I don't suffer from 'I-let-go-my-career-because-of-you' syndrome. I am much at peace with myself exploring other options to keep myself busy and active.
2. No Gossiping
I have no inclination to gossip. I am not interested in anyone's life especially to compare whether my life is going as per the trends. Gossiping about other people's life is guilty pleasure - but like all other guilty pleasures, it is not good for the heart and soul. I do not want to engage in the grapevine talks about what someone did, or said or behaves. Discussing people I have realized does not enrich me any way whatsoever and at the end of it, fills me with a void in heart. I am much happier and focused on my personal growth, ever since I decided to cut the crap of gossip from my life.
3. Follow your heart
This one is almost pedagogical, and the most universal truth. Yet it is sadly amazing how often we miss listening to our own hearts. That meek voice which tells us to do something OR not do, is always right. I have realized that the more I listen to my heart, the more happiness comes my door, and that meek voice gets stronger with each tryst. I have also realized that when we follow our heart, there is no place for regret over our decisions. I quit my well-paying IT job to sit at home and write. I may not earn that much but I am satisfied with what I am doing every day. People querying about my being non-working doesn't bother me :)
4. Feel free to learn and Experiment
You are never too old to learn anything. Life is a school that teaches us myriad lessons at different age, so why to believe that there is certain right age to learn! We often put ourselves under undue stress worrying what if we are wrong about things, what if we did something which is not right. However the more we think about failure or "what-if" scenarios, the happiness evaporates like camphor vapor. But if we let go of fear, embrace our failures, I guess the happiness is not far away. I remember I got a bad hair-cut before my brothers marriage. But I carried that well, and got lot of compliments. It didn't stop me from experimenting with different styles again. Every time I try something, excitement pours into my life. It keeps me going and looking forward to life each passing day. A man of various hobbies, Winston Churchill began painting at the age of 40!
5. Treat others with respect
Generally, all the parties in all kind of arguments are at receiving ends and this is because everyone feels victim and loses respect for others. Respect comes with empathizing - putting yourself in the others shoe. It is very easy to say 'I am sorry' or 'I forgive you' but how many times do we actually mean it. Saying sorry is akin to saying I value your feelings and I will take care never to hurt you intentionally. Same way forgiving someone means you understand that to err is human and there are no hard feelings! Initially, I would get upset with my maid very often. But once I listened to her side of story, her difficulties in life I am much more accommodating and happy. We share more humane relationship now. Life is not about making or breaking relationships, it is about getting above of small petty issues and be compassionate to all!
I guess I could go on and on with this list. All these points are not easy to follow. It takes time and constant reminders to walk such talks but it's an interesting way of life. Once you start following this you grow as a person. It makes you smile more, sing more, no longer you are slave to your inhibitions, no longer you blurt out meaningless words and the best of all, you start loving everybody which makes you happy. I am trying to follow all these simple rules. Drinking this special potion every day. Would you like to say cheers and join me?
I was all safe among my girl-friends in my room, and I was just splitting into hysterical laughs every now and then much to the chagrin of my roommate who had decided to remain sober. That made me wonder that my hidden desire is not about achieving any status in society or to become famous or to mint money, my inner desire is to be able to laugh a lot without getting conscious about myself, others, surroundings, anything. That I just want to be happy no matter what. That made my life pretty simple. I might had a rough start but I am able to have a fairly decent mileage in this journey of life. So what it is that makes me happy? I am today here to disclose those few but amazing things that has power to make anyone happy!
1. Own your decisions
The day when I realized that there is absolutely nobody to be blamed for my miseries but me myself, I ceased to feel miserable. When I quit my job, people told me you did a fine thing for your family, esp. your daughter. And my point was no, I did that for myself. My daughter is too young to dictate me to quit. It was my decision that I don't want to continue as I am struggling to manage a job, a kid, and a family. The result - a happy me. I am sure in future I am never gonna expect things from my daughter because I don't suffer from 'I-let-go-my-career-because-of-you' syndrome. I am much at peace with myself exploring other options to keep myself busy and active.
2. No Gossiping
I have no inclination to gossip. I am not interested in anyone's life especially to compare whether my life is going as per the trends. Gossiping about other people's life is guilty pleasure - but like all other guilty pleasures, it is not good for the heart and soul. I do not want to engage in the grapevine talks about what someone did, or said or behaves. Discussing people I have realized does not enrich me any way whatsoever and at the end of it, fills me with a void in heart. I am much happier and focused on my personal growth, ever since I decided to cut the crap of gossip from my life.
3. Follow your heart
This one is almost pedagogical, and the most universal truth. Yet it is sadly amazing how often we miss listening to our own hearts. That meek voice which tells us to do something OR not do, is always right. I have realized that the more I listen to my heart, the more happiness comes my door, and that meek voice gets stronger with each tryst. I have also realized that when we follow our heart, there is no place for regret over our decisions. I quit my well-paying IT job to sit at home and write. I may not earn that much but I am satisfied with what I am doing every day. People querying about my being non-working doesn't bother me :)
4. Feel free to learn and Experiment
You are never too old to learn anything. Life is a school that teaches us myriad lessons at different age, so why to believe that there is certain right age to learn! We often put ourselves under undue stress worrying what if we are wrong about things, what if we did something which is not right. However the more we think about failure or "what-if" scenarios, the happiness evaporates like camphor vapor. But if we let go of fear, embrace our failures, I guess the happiness is not far away. I remember I got a bad hair-cut before my brothers marriage. But I carried that well, and got lot of compliments. It didn't stop me from experimenting with different styles again. Every time I try something, excitement pours into my life. It keeps me going and looking forward to life each passing day. A man of various hobbies, Winston Churchill began painting at the age of 40!
5. Treat others with respect
Generally, all the parties in all kind of arguments are at receiving ends and this is because everyone feels victim and loses respect for others. Respect comes with empathizing - putting yourself in the others shoe. It is very easy to say 'I am sorry' or 'I forgive you' but how many times do we actually mean it. Saying sorry is akin to saying I value your feelings and I will take care never to hurt you intentionally. Same way forgiving someone means you understand that to err is human and there are no hard feelings! Initially, I would get upset with my maid very often. But once I listened to her side of story, her difficulties in life I am much more accommodating and happy. We share more humane relationship now. Life is not about making or breaking relationships, it is about getting above of small petty issues and be compassionate to all!
I guess I could go on and on with this list. All these points are not easy to follow. It takes time and constant reminders to walk such talks but it's an interesting way of life. Once you start following this you grow as a person. It makes you smile more, sing more, no longer you are slave to your inhibitions, no longer you blurt out meaningless words and the best of all, you start loving everybody which makes you happy. I am trying to follow all these simple rules. Drinking this special potion every day. Would you like to say cheers and join me?
* * *
Written in prompt by Coca-Cola International Day of Happiness.
I love this a ridiculous amount! being mindful of how to find and create happiness is HUGE. I love all of your points--but it's 1 and 5 that I think make the world go round. Wonderful post!
ReplyDeleteYou are right.. Most importantly the 5th one.. I wish if everyone follows this rule honestly, heaven will become a reality and not just any imaginary place!! :)
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