badge

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Dying with dignity

My blogger friend Ravish had few days back asked in Indispire 

If you could plan your death, how would you plan it?

I chose not to write, as I had already written about it in the form of two short stories during my #AtoZChallenge. Moreover, I am not sure if I can actually explain how I feel about life and death now after having done some serious readings last month. But this post by another Blogger friend Matheikal, had prompted me to write certain thoughts in another blog post.

I always appreciate his honest views and this time too, I understood his point of view. There was a time when I would support Euthanasia like in Aruna Shanbaug's case. But now that I have contemplated a little more on the cycle of life and death, I am no more sure if death is an 'end'. If life is like a journey than I would like to go home one day. Home is where I belong. From where I emerged and started on this journey, Nothingness, that is the end I and we all should seek. How do we know that what looks like a 'death of dignity' is not leading to a lesser dignified another life, a different journey? How can we be certain that ending the suffering of other person or yourself, sets us on a better journey or a better rebirth and not a life with even greater suffering? Is not euthanasia then sounds like another route of escape from present sufferings? I am no more in support of Euthanasia, Capital punishment, Suicide anything that has to do with putting an end to a life except in the case of self-defence. I have stopped killing spiders too (not mosquitoes, when they bite me :P )

And now coming to my death. After reading Tibetan book of dying, I feel we should not run away from discussing deaths and according to the book, we should actually practice about our final moments so as not to be afraid of it when our 'time' comes. They say our mental state has lot to do in deciding about our after life than our physical conditions. Dignity in death for me is dying natural death. If something happens to my body that looks ugly to others, or to my mind that is unacceptable to others, then also I would not want to escape this life unnaturally, I would like to have enough will and courage to face that challenge too - that will be my dignity, my grace. Umm consider the painful sufferings like the process of pregnancy. A woman knows it is painful. A woman is scared of it. But still when time comes she is ready to take it up. Same applies to my sufferings. I have to accept it howsoever hard it is. When I didn't arrive unnaturally then I can't die like that too. My - birth and death - were never in the power of my 'this (Roohi as people know this body and mind :)' existence. For I am tired of life and death, both - existence as you can say. I am sure I wouldn't want another of it, if given a choice. So I would not take any such step that might lead me to another round of this crazy game. Call it a precautionary step or whatever but I am not willing to take any chance, I want a permanent solution and not temporary :D !!

I feel we exist to pay for our past good or bad karmas, to have another chance. We go through sufferings until we realize the ultimate aim is to be free from all 'maya', to be detached from the fruits of our 'karmas'. Does that mean we should give up all we have and go to himalayas? :) I don't think so but we can be in this world doing all deeds without really be attached to our existence. I love my family, friends, this world, I hate them at times too but I am trying hard not to let my hate cloud my feelings of respect towards life, towards anyone. At the same time, I have to make sure that I don't let any kind of grief , love and even my duties overpower me and make me blind towards the truth of impermanence of everything around.

I have this feeling that though for us Aruna's life was full of pains but may be Aruna is free now from again attaining any form and going through yet another different sets of sufferings. Maybe she's gone into that nothingness from which we all come just because she successfully endured the pains which seemed horrible to us!! What if, that was her chosen way of redemption from the cycle? What if our intervention in the form of Euthanasia would have hindered her path to ultimate freedom and put her in another cycle of a painful life? To me, Aruna died a dignified death and I respect the hospital staff that helped her in dying naturally.

I am no omniscient but that is what I feel these days. And what kind of death I would like for me, well, I have written two stories on that Loving-Kindness and D for..? Hope you have already read these :)

* * *


11 comments:

  1. Roohi, there are some beautiful thoughts here. Death, I think, is a highly individual matter. Sometimes there is honour in death. For example, a soldier killing himself rather than running the risk of revealing secrets under torture. That honour could also apply to someone who chooses to die rather than be a burden on family and friends. It really depends on the motive, doesn't it? Personally, I shy away from having any view on suicide at all because I think a person has to be in extreme despair to even think of taking that final step. Each one of us have different levels of pain tolerance and I, for one, think the Universe understands that like a loving parent. None of these comments take away from the fact that your post on death is thoughtful and touches a chord in the reader.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for expressing your honest views and putting some valid points here. I like the idea 'Universe as a loving parent' understands but I am not sure about it, Lata. As I have said in my post all these theories are just my understandings and I can't say these are true facts. Personally, I feel we should take responsibilities to face gracefully any hardships we suffer in life without looking for an easy way out, if we seek permanent liberation!

      Delete
  2. Death is the one certainty in life and yet so difficult to talk about. Personally, I would not want to live if physically incapacitated. Otherwise, I guess we all would like to live long, healthy live surrounded by friends and family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are weak to accept truth, Rachna and that's why it is difficult for us to discuss this certainty..

      Delete
  3. My thoughts are the DEATH is something that is coming , the only thing we dont know is WHEN.. my thoughts are that I Have made my peace with the ups and down of life but I fear one thing, what I fear the most is that I would not want to have bad health, or be bed ridden , because I will be a burden on someone which I surely don’t want to be as being a burden will not make them Happy.

    When death comes it comes swiftly, maybe without pain I just would want to close my eyes , go to sleep and never wake up.. that would be ideal.

    I remember writing a couple of posts on how i think one shud live and die :) some time back..

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah the ideal death, Bikram. We all want that. No pain, no fears, just a silent bow down. Better in sleep. Believe me nobody wants to have a bad health, to be bed ridden or a burden on anyone. But does it matter what we want?

      Delete
  4. Well, I'd differ with you on the matter of euthanasia. I think everybody should have the freedom to change his dress according to this wishes. This physical body is nothing more than a dress. The real death is not the death of physical body but the death of ego. We are dying and born every moment. Infant dies, child born. Child dies, teenager born. Teenager dies, adult born. Adult dies, Old born. Old dies, infant born. The cycle continues. Real death means death of this cycle - freedom from this cycle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with death of ego, but rarely someone achieves that! and I respect your views on Euthanasia but as I said, I wouldn't go for it as I am not sure if that does not lead to another round of greater sufferings! I don't know whether I chose this dress or my actions tailored this for me!

      Delete
  5. While I appreciate some of your views (as well as your courtesy to give me your answer), I cannot bring myself to think of life as a playing-out of one's karma. For one thing, it just doesn't sound logical to me. It would amount to ascribing consciousness to the universe. Well, I'm a non-believer when it comes to spiritual things.

    But, yes, pain has to be accepted. Life is pain, as the Buddha defined it and I know you love the Buddha. But there comes a time when the pain is absolutely unwarranted, if not totally absurd. If I were in the place of Aruna, I wouldn't want to go through al that pain...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you sir for prompting and making me write on the subject. I have always admired your strict non-believer status as I have mentioned many times before :) Believe me, pain is never warranted by anyone. But each action has an equal and opposite reaction. It is not some entity as a Universe conspiring but as per my belief, it is a law which even our science acknowledges. We are responsible for our own fate through our karmas. Only thing is like many known equations, we are still clueless about the reactions to our actions. I am not sure, thus, what is the reaction to chosen death. Hence, I would not like to be artificially dead just as I would not prefer to be artificially kept alive. I want the nature to take its course with my body, just as it did when I arrived. Had I not remembered if my birth was my decision? :) As per ending life just because my body/mind is not as healthy per my wishes, umm I doesn't want to be that attached to both.

      Delete
  6. Nice article to read, Roohi. Quite introspective.
    Death is as inevitable as change.

    Cheers,
    POETICbug
    Emotions Xpressed

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for visiting my page! Would love to know your views..