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Friday, August 15, 2014

Irony of life n death

I wrote this piece recently on a transit during a sad journey which made me reflect on the importance of everyone connected to us  in life. Do we realize and celebrate that importance during our each and every dealing with everyone. How many of us realize this while speaking to a person that he may or may not be alive tomorrow or I might not live to see a tomorrow?

Unlike life that announces its arrival 9 months before, death never tells its due date. It just knocks at our doorstep unannounced like a shameless guest. Yet, we behave as if life will go forever for each of us. What else then explains our egoistic fights with our near ones or friends or even strangers. We fight among ourselves for our materialistic desires, for our fake identity ignoring or to be precise forgetting, the probability of demise. Everyone feel that they are right and it is the other who should accept fault. The irony of life is we never stop looking at the shortcomings of a person when he /she is alive but when the person cease to exist we just want to remember his/her goodness.
What if, we could see the countdown of death. Maybe we would be more sensible with everyone in our day to day life. Think about it, a son is pissed off from his father's nagging and about to loose his temper when he see the countdown at his head to be 5 days and so he decides to face him in a calm state. Or a daughter-in-law is about to pick a fight with her mother-in-law who constantly irks her how to be a good wife when she see the counter telling 2 days, and she decides not to hurt the dying one.
 It sounds scary but it is still better than the scarier after thoughts that haunts the mind when you come to know about someone's untimely demise with whom you didn't reconcile after having a bad fight. You tell anyone or not but deep in your mind a thought is planted that why the hell you didn't make peace with that person when he or she was alive and around. For nobody wants to be in the bad books or unfulfilled wishes of a departing soul.
A very close, reverend, elderly member of my family is no more. I don't want to name the relationship I had with her as that doesn't matter since I have loved her as my real grandma. When she embraced me for the first time I felt very happy and it made up for all the times when my real grandma wasn't there to love me or play with me. Still, I didn't see her for last one year even when she would ask us to visit her along with my daughter. I was too busy building my materialistic life. Now I can't do anything about it. Had there been the counter or in short, had death been lesser evil and would announce its visit, I would have got her to stay with me and enjoyed her presence, her blessings, her scolding's. Its difficult to comprehend that she is no more. For she was so full of spirit that we assumed nothing can ever happen to her and we can meet her anytime as per our convenience. We no more have that luxury.
I know she is still around but that doesn't fill the void created forever in her place and the guilt I shall carry always in my heart. I know there are always unfulfilled regrets left behind when a person departs but that doesn't forgive the fact that we underestimated death and undermined the life. Thus, I have decided and also request you all to keep aside all the fights, egos and move forward and patch up with  broken friendship, relations, parents, siblings, children. Don't hurt anyone. You don't wanna change then don't. They don't wanna change then let them be happy for what they are.  But don't stop talking and seeing each other. For who knows may be that call of theirs which you let miss and didn't talk is their last for nothing can beat death in its unpredictability.

24 comments:

  1. I very recently was discussing this topic, not even a day ago, about those untold thoughts, about those untold sorries and not telling some people what they truly mean to us and how they have had an impact on our lives. These people are a lot more precious than our egos but somehow something hinders that difference.. I have often wondered why not be the bigger person but again there is a limitation on its own front :(

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    1. The limitation is of mind Vinay as I hav realized. It just takes a moment to forget and forgive and start fresh a relationship with love. If this post can fix even one strained relationship than I would feel forgiven and a part of my karma achieved.

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  2. I don't know what to say on this occurrence - some philosophies or words of condolence. But one thing, I wanna assure you that what you are trying to convey has reached my soul.

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    1. Thanks Ravish. I pray you have pleasant relations with everyone. :)

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  3. Roohi your article touched the heart as it was written straight from the heart...I could feel the words...May her soul rest in peace....but then we take things for granted when the people are with us some of the time....this thin line between life and death stay like an enigma

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    1. I have always aimed to bring peace n love through my blog Chaitali. To help everyone see goodness in everyone. Never knew I will miss that in my own life one day. But life don't give time to regret hence, I hav to be careful for my people, remember my dharma while continuing with my karmas.

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  4. Human life is such a short affair that we should have no time for ego trips and jealousies, fights and hatred... yet how silly we are. You convey a powerful message.

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    1. Exactly Tomichan. I read a quote recently that every one is fighting their own battle we know nothing about. Then why fight? Humans should be more empathetic beings but sadly, we are blinded by vices.

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    2. So very true Roohi. We are not only blinded by vices; we are also hell-bent on making those vices our life and getting entangled in the web of misery...

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  5. Accept my deepest condolences Roohi. I agree with all your thoughts, it's better to value and give all to closed ones when they are with us so that they leave content when they have to leave this world.

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    1. The problem is we focus so much on negativity that we loose the love for some people. I hav realized if we ignore that on focus only on goodness, we can love everyone. Love has infinite capacity and amazing capabilities.

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  6. Wonderful lines on such a issue which is discussed very less and written less. I really liked the line that life makes an announcement 9 months early but death doesn't.......

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    1. Yes Meenal and death doesn't discriminate between young or old, rich or poor, beautiful or ugly, dumb or intelligent.. So, why all the ego in the world??

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  7. I loved the line that life comes announced with a 9 months ..

    death comes announced but then we know it is the hard truth the moment we are born.. birth is gone and the only truth left is that I have to die sooner or later is the only criteria..

    but i also think that if we knew when it was coming we would probably end up spoiling what we have ..

    I am sorry to hear and my sincerest condolences to you and everyone around ..

    Bikram's

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    1. Yes the knowledge can definitely spoil the game of life, Bikram.

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  8. Sorry to hear about your loss. My deepest condolences. It's just sad that we have to wait all our lives to realise the importance of the ones no longer with us. A very serious and grave message conveyed...

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    1. I no more want to feel sad and hence, I have decided not to spoil my relations with people around for petty issues. Things happens that we feel bad about but how long we take to forget n forgive solely depends on us. M ready to take initiatives to fix all broken bonds irrespective of whose mistake it is and to tell my folks, how each of them is important to me and means so much to me n that we are related due to some reasons for seasons :)

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    2. Nice to hear that Roohi. Your words clearly echo the lack of bitterness in your heart and it is quite an inspiration...

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  9. Nicely written, but do not be sad about the loss.Everyone has to go. The thoughts and ego will die as soon as your time is up, hence no point bringing thoughts which dampens the mood. Think of the good times you spent with the person. That is the best you can do to give respect and remember her. Some people go untimely, but nothing can be controlled. The only thing that can be controlled is your emotions and thoughts. Let the happy moments spent with the person be part of your thoughts. You will always smile remembering the person:-)

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    1. True Amit. I remember her as a lively person even in her old age. The beauty of death is it makes you remember the best of a person. With this post, however I wish if we can imbibe that quality in life i.e to cherish the goodness and quickly forgiving the bad. How enriching our lives and relations will be.

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  11. Life can take unexpected turns. So unfortunate you couldn't meet your loved one and good words there for us as a lesson. I am thinking seriously on this.

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    1. It is indeed the biggest lesson I have learnt till now.. I hope I will remember this always and be kind to everyone.. and I also hope to spread this message of love to everyone..

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  12. Reading again it gives a soothing feeling... something of divine nature and leaves a question behind: is death end of ego or another journey of it on some other route?

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