badge

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Becoming Mommy and being reborn a second time



After more than a month of self-observed hiatus, I am back to the world of blogging. Honestly speaking, I was not much into writing in the past 9 months. I tried to fake blogs occasionally but failed miserably.
Whoever said that motherhood is not an easy job was not joking. And I embraced it for the second time. Yes, I planned, conceived and produced a second baby in these times, when women have started questioning if motherhood is really that necessary for a woman to be complete? Well, to that question I say no. Every soul is complete in itself the moment it is born. Rest every role is just our way to follow life and is just a matter of choice. Motherhood  too is a choice and I would not glorify it just for the sake of it or just because I am a mother. In fact, no female should be forced into it as that would be a tremendous injustice to nature and the lives associated with such decision. It is a huge responsibility that should never be a compulsion. Having said that, I chose to become a mother a second time. I was so excited about it that I had thought this time it'll be like breeze. After all, it was 3 years since I delivered Pihu. With each passing day of her growing years, I was falling more and more so much in love with her, that I was completely amazed by motherhood. But boy, its not easy. After 9 months of starving and struggling with appetite, a major abdomen surgery and a month of recovery in isolation, all I would say is, I am all in for motherhood if someone can hand over a ready made baby in my arms. Like the way I used to tell an inquisitive Pihu while preparing her for the new baby - see, Mumma will go to hospital and pray to God and the doctors there will hand over a baby to Mumma on God's command. I wish it could be that easy. But then, what would have happened to world's already bulging human population! (On the side-note, anyways the population is exponentially increasing even when the birthing process is so complicated and painful.)
Believe me, through out my pregnancy and postpartum, I was upset with nature that had formulated such a twisted process for a woman to give birth. I mean, even today I wake up in the middle of the night to exclaim to the powers- really, you sure you actually wanted life to breed and multiply or is it an accidental process, kind of side-effect for starting with life in the very beginning?!!

Now you must have got some idea how much I 'enjoyed' the stage of pregnancy. (If not, meet my Gynae who was frustrated with me for not putting on weight and looking always dull. On almost all my visits to her, the poor lady would not believe that I actually planned the baby and it was not an accident. lol) Forget blogging, I was having tough days eating enough to survive a day. I didn't do much during those days. but only 'enjoy' and wait for the days to get over and have a healthy, brand new baby for me and a sibling for our lovely daughter. Spiritually, I can vouch for that I was living completely in present. (I no more intend to live in present like that) So, you see motherhood is indeed not easy and might not be a choice for many. In fact, in a recent news report in developing countries like India, depression after childbirth is recognized as a silent killer! Becoming a mother does take away at least 2 years of a women's life and it is stressful indeed physically and mentally. And then the responsibility to raise a good human is also there. You just can't give birth and forget about it. It is your and your partner's duty to look after the child and make sure he or she grows up to contribute to this world in a healthy way. But yes, it indeed has its rewards and that's why generally women like me fall prey to it. You cry, you question, you get depressed about what-the-hell-happened-to-my-body-and-life until the newly arrived one with its awestruck eyes and oh-mommy-I-am-so-dependent-on-you gestures take your heart away. Before you even realize you have forgotten all the painful and difficult stuff  and you find yourself rejoicing, cooing and cuddling the small being freshly descended from the heavens to keep you engage with its playfulness. Hence, after all these days of excitement, astonishment, frustration and finally elation, I find myself once again being reborn along with my baby.

With my body used as a channel by a second life to arrive and tread in this world, with my soul nourishing and helping one another soul to survive in this complex world, with my heart being overflowing with love for one another little human, I am happy to announce and share that I am a proud mother of another baby girl, a cutesy younger sister to my beloved first born Pihu, and we are fondly calling her Pari at home. 

Motherhood is certainly not easy, just like life it has it's share of ups and downs but then, there is no true happiness without any struggle.

So back to writing, from now on continuing the exciting journey in the writing world, making and fulfilling new commitments. Once again to all my friends, readers, followers, be blessed and stay tuned to this space :)

* * *
After two pregnancies and deliveries, I am coming up with a series of posts to discuss some common and not so common issues, experiences a woman encounters during this happening phase of her life that no doubt, changes her perspective towards life and world. Click here to see all my articles related to Pregnancy and PostPartum