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Friday, June 20, 2014

Precious Reminders - Chronicles of an IT Momma

"Is this to remind yourself that you have to go home early?", my teammate asked me pointing to the wallpaper on my desktop. I have set a cute picture of Pihu as my wallpaper. In a team of around 20 people, only I have the unique role of being an IT mother. In fact, we are just 2 mothers in our Indian Department. There are many fathers, though.

The other day I told Mr. H that while I am at office doing work I often think about Pihu. I often wonder whether she's sleeping now or playing, whether she has done her breakfast or lunch, or whether she's missing me. Though I know she's with the best people in the world still sometimes it gives me guilt of leaving her for so many hours in her toddling years. I asked him if he gets the same thoughts. Mr. H responded saying 'No'. He went ahead advising me to concentrate on work and not to worry about her during office hours. It is not that he's not as concerned for Pihu as me. He cares for her a lot and is the best father any kid can have. If he comes to know while in office that she needs him he'll rush back to her in no time. Hence, I realized fathers and mothers have different sort of association with babies. Both care for their children but with different tendency. I can describe it for mothers, being one. The 9 months of carrying someone in womb definitely leaves deeper connection.

I explained Mr. H that though I do concentrate on work but it is next to impossible for me to forget about her. She is always there in my thoughts no matter how busy I am. Being the only mother in my team, my mind works differently than others. So there is this constant juggle. I feel like saving time wherever I can so that I can finish my days task and rush back to be with her. I value my time more than others because it is very precious. But I cannot go ahead every time telling hey, let’s finish our tasks in 9 hours, let’s be efficient and not waste time during team meetings, or sessions as I have a daughter. People understand when I tell them if I have some urgency. But not every day!

"No, this is not to remind myself", I told my colleague. "This picture is to remind people around me that I have a bigger duty to fulfill apart from the work here - to be with her in time".