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Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Just another Couple


“We need to have a doorbell too!”, I reminded my husband of another item as he was scribbling the shopping list. We used to be very busy those days. Being a newly wed couple, my husband & I were busy setting up our sweet home. We had to buy anything and everything - from washing machine to a cloth stand, from tea set to linen. Shopping was almost daily activity. We would pick things, have discussions over it and then make our mind to buy it or not. Sometimes, we would fight like kids when one of us wanted to buy something and gave funny reasons to buy that. And, the other one would subtly assume the role of discerning parent trying to reason with the partner turned kid.

We both are software professionals and have an “arranged” marriage – by the book. Although, both of us fancied love-marriages as most of our friends have had. He had come with his family to meet the first time. Both of us have background of service class families, similar culture, same dreams, same aspirations as well as same hobbies so much so that at our very first “arranged” meeting, both of us being avid readers having strong opinions, had an argument over Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist. “It’s the best book ever written!” he declared. “well, I think it has some highly impractical and philosophical tones”, I smirked. Both of us are hazy eyed, dreamy romantics but with different choices. So no wonder that we had our differences for our honeymoon destinations too. He liked the serenity and evening of desert and I enjoyed the sea breeze of beaches.

“Hey, I liked this one”, I said with a childlike gleam in my eyes with excitement. We were at Hometown, a home-shopping complex and from the display panel of doorbells we started playing each one. It was fun. “Hmm and tell me, how about this?” he played another - an English instrumental whereas I was keen on the Gayatri Mantra, I had just played. Well, he had all regards for the holy chant but he said, “It’s too common - the mantras bell. But look, this one is melodious and I have rarely found this music in a bell. I really like this.” he remarked with his million dollar smile. “Hmm, but I have heard mantras bell with half-finished prayers or bhajans unlike this one and just imagine Gayatri Mantra playing whenever a guest presses the doorbell. So, divine!” I reasoned.

 
I used to get sad about the differences in our likes (and dislikes). If you ask, why did we agree to marry, answer simply would be because we thought its life and not a Bollywood movie, besides, our families seemed to bond together perfectly.

We were silent and were trying both the bells again and again. “We can take this”, “It’s not that bad”, “I think I like this now that I have listened to it again”, we both were now rooting for each other’s favorite number. As luck would have it, Hometown people did not have the bells other than the ones displayed. So the decision was postponed.

 
We have discovered that deferring few things to a later date (which could be actually indefinite) is a better idea than to get engaged in arguments. I feel this is probably one case where procrastination really helps. In-spite of our initial negative opinion about each other and doubt of any love in our relationship we married and never fought since then. It is like we had planted a half-dried seed but we both were desperate to get a beautiful plant out of it. So we took its utmost care and kept it hidden from small, petty fights until we realized that the almost dry seed is actually turning out to be a rose plant each day giving new colorful roses. Sure there are few thorns, but we pluck them out with the strength of our love.

A few days later Piyush, my sweet hubby got the Gayatri Mantra bell when he happened to visit that place again to inquire about something. And whenever any new guests, especially my in-laws, come to our house he makes it sure that they listen to our holy bell as he likes it a lot. As for me, when I am struggling to get up early in the morning to get ready, it rings with the full chant, and with a smile and peace in my heart, I go to open the door for my maid.

We cannot tell exactly when we started feeling that great in our relationship. But eventually we realized that we are not just another couple but soul mates! Life is beautiful since the day we married and we enjoy answering people when they ask us, “Hey, do you guys have a love marriage?". And Piyush with his shining smile says, “umm, we have Love in our marriage.”